"Am I looking fat? "

Almost all men and women have had this conversation before. Trying to find and pen down the comedy in banal day-to-day conversations!

Woman:

(Oh I am looking so hot! This new dress looks so pretty on me. Ummmm, but my neck bones aren’t showing up as good, and I can see a little paunch.)

“I am looking very fat in this dress no?”     

Man:

(Not very fat, just a little fat, maybe a little paunch, but it's just fine.)

“uhmmm, no it's fine, just a little....”

Woman: “A little what?  :-O”

Man: (Ah f**k, I can't say this. What am I supposed to say now?)

Woman: “Hello? What were you saying? Am I looking just fine? A little what? Talk dude!”

Man:

(I need to change the topic, I need to get out of this.)

“No, I was just saying that isn't it a new dress, I have never seen it before. When did you get it?”

Woman:

“I told you just 3 days back that I went shopping and bought a new dress. Do you even listen when I talk?”

Man:

(Have you tried listening to yourself? Ah… focus, don’t be rude... and stop digging your own grave)

“No baby, of course I listen to you. I just meant to compliment you.”

Woman:

(atleast that means I am looking good, or wait is he just trying to end this conversation.)

“Yeah right, I bet you haven’t even looked at me properly and you’re just lying.”

Man:

(What the hell do you want me to say woman?)

“I swear you are looking just fine. Everyone is going to be just looking at you tonight.”

Woman:

(Smart answer… but wait! What does he mean everyone is going to be looking at me? Is it too slutty?)

“What do you mean huh? Is it looking too provocative?”

Man:

(While you are not asking these questions, everything on you looks provocative to me, but I don't think I can say that to her right now.)

“What? When did I mention anything like that?”

Woman:

“So, you mean I am not looking hot enough for you?”

Man:

(Okay that’s it, I need to end this conversation right now.)

“You always look hot to me”, he kisses her passionately and says “I think we are running late, shall we go now?"

Woman:

(whoa, that was a nice way to make up.. but wait, isn't this what he always does?)

“This is what you always do, you just change the topic! This is all you know how to do. Don't you understand that some things need to be discussed and not dismissed like this. We need to talk more often.”

Man:

(Oh my god, what were we even talking about?)

“We are running late sweetheart, let’s come back and talk about whatever you want. I will be all ears.”

Woman:

“Alright, alright! Let's go. Let me do one last mirror check.”

(Sees herself in the mirror)

“Hey by the way, is my tummy too visible?”